Where's My Febreeze?

The Boy has an embarrassing social problem. It's become so bad that even he is aware of it. There are times he doesn't want to be in the same room with himself. Not to be too delicate about it, basically, The Boy's feet stink!

And I mean stink. This is no slight sweaty gym sock scent but full-out nostril-searing stench. I have tried to fix the problem in any way I can think of. We have washed his sneakers, washed his feet in fragranced soap, creamed and powdered them. But the smell lives on.

He's far too active riding his bike, skateboarding and just generally doing boy things to wear sandals. He nearly lost a toe that way. I have just scrubbed the feet clean and applied sweet-smelling lotion. I am washing the sneakers right now. I am waiting until the very last second before I buy him a new pair of shoes for school or they too, will suffer the summer stink.

That's the problem. It's summer. His feet just excrete sweat madly during hot weather. What's worse is that even though he leaves for summer camp with clean socks on, he comes back without them every day. His feet swelter and sweat inside those sneakers and the result is that when he takes his shoes off in a room full of people, it is like employing biological warfare.

I don't think I can put off buying new shoes much longer. School is still two weeks away and any minute now I expect the haz-mat team to show up in my driveway.

High School Musical 2

Well, it finally arrived. The premiere night of Disney's High School Musical 2. I am glad if only because it means that I won't have to endure yet another showing of High School Musical 1. The Girl is a brand-new teen, having reached that distinction only a couple of months ago. The Boy just wants to dance like Corbin Bleu. They are both totally entranced by this offering from Disney. One of the few things they both like equally.


It's great in a way. Although I tire of the constantly blaring soundtrack, at least it's a Disney musical featuring real kids in a real situation instead of cartoon mermaids and princesses. It's nice to see musicals make a comeback, and for Tweens and Teens no less.

Some of their friends were attending High School Musical 2 parties, where a group of kids got together to watch. I wish I had thought of that, The Girl would have idolized me for years. Unfortunately, I didn't think of it and it probably wouldn't have been much of a draw: "Come watch the premiere of the most anticipated new movie in years on a 20 inch TV screen!"

Ah well, I will find ways to be a good mother about it. We'll buy the soundtrack, download the lyrics, read about it, talk about it and watch it until the tubes in the television fizzle out. By that time there will be a whole new crop of Disney teen stars (teen stars tend to grow up and need replacing often) and The Girl will be too old and cool to care about Disney anymore.

That sounds nice, but it's what comes next that worries me. I think I would rather listen to High School Musical 1 and 2 soundtracks for as long as possible if I can stave off the more serious problems of teenhood: dating, drugs, etc.

Let's sing: "We're all in this together..."

What's in a Name?

The way I see it, my kids are lucky I am a nobody. As much as they wish their mother was rich and famous, a fabulous film or TV star, they are much better off with boring, old me.


If you are born to a celebrity these days, you could end up with a name like Pilot Inspektor, Jason Lee's son's name. You'd think it was a good thing to be Nicholas Cage's kid, but you'd have to go through life with a name from the planet Krypton. He named his kid Kal-El, Superman's real name. Can you imagine going through life with a name like the one Shannyn Sossamon bestowed on her child? How do you work up the guts to introduce yourself as Audio Science?

Compared to these, Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin calling their daughter Apple seems normal and commonplace.

Okay, so The Boy and The Girl don't have exciting, exotic names and we're not invited to exclusive New York society parties. The limo is a little smaller than standard with a few dings and dents. There's no chauffeur but me, and a trip to a fancy restaurant means that we went to the new McDonalds with the sports decor.

But at least when they tell someone their name, they don't have to listen to a lot of giggling.