What's in a Name?

The way I see it, my kids are lucky I am a nobody. As much as they wish their mother was rich and famous, a fabulous film or TV star, they are much better off with boring, old me.


If you are born to a celebrity these days, you could end up with a name like Pilot Inspektor, Jason Lee's son's name. You'd think it was a good thing to be Nicholas Cage's kid, but you'd have to go through life with a name from the planet Krypton. He named his kid Kal-El, Superman's real name. Can you imagine going through life with a name like the one Shannyn Sossamon bestowed on her child? How do you work up the guts to introduce yourself as Audio Science?

Compared to these, Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin calling their daughter Apple seems normal and commonplace.

Okay, so The Boy and The Girl don't have exciting, exotic names and we're not invited to exclusive New York society parties. The limo is a little smaller than standard with a few dings and dents. There's no chauffeur but me, and a trip to a fancy restaurant means that we went to the new McDonalds with the sports decor.

But at least when they tell someone their name, they don't have to listen to a lot of giggling.